The Debate: Spoon vs. Fork
I never thought a simple comment left on my last post would initiate such heated debate, but alas the spoon vs. fork fiasco of 2006 has proved me wrong. I personally tend to use both utensils, however, I seem to have much more of an affinity for forks. Some would argue that my lack of utensil manners should make me ineligible for comment on the issue at hand...*ahem* Steve and Kristen* ahem*...however, I feel that because my blog was the location for such a heated argument, that I have earned the right to express my point of view.
I have performed research regarding this issue, and it has led me to believe that perhaps this debate is a waste of time. Nonetheless, I had fun typing "spoon vs. fork" in the Google search box. These are some of the things I have found thus far:
http://www.minortweaks.com/archives/2006/06/fork_vs_spoon_t.html
This is a personal favourite...the script of the witty banter between a talking spoon and fork...something you don't see every day, those talking spoons...unless of course it's on an animated cartoon...such as Disney's Beauty and the Beast, which I'll have you know, I watched on Sunday afternoon! Such quality cinematography...or maybe it's just called animation...no...I'll call it animatography.
RANDOM FACT: The fork (which originally only had two prongs) was invented in Italy as an implement to eat spaghetti! It appeared at the same time as the new pasta shape "spaghetti" was suggested by Marco Polo (probably trying to re-create "noodles").
I found this random fact on a forum talking about whether one should use a spoon and a fork for eating spaghetti, or whether one should just twirl the pasta on a fork alone...apparently this is more of a controversy than one would think...to duke it out on this forum, feel free to visit: http://www.virtualitalia.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=807
So, what's the moral of this story (or debate, I guess) you ask?? I have a very reasonable answer to this...in fact, I think it's so brilliant that I should be hired to solve all of the world's problems. Are you ready for it?? YES??? NO??? Hmmm...you sound skeptical. I'm not sure you're ready!
Ok, fine...the solution to the problem surrounding the Spoon vs. Fork debate of 2006 is that there is one utensil that comes heads and tails above spoons and forks...what is it, you ask??
The SPORK!
Muahaha...I can't believe I just spent my time writing this, but it was worth every keystroke on the ol' typewriter...I mean keyboard.
7 Comments:
As much as it pains me to reveal these results, I did a GoogleFight for spoon and fork, and the results were not so great for spoons...
Spoon vs. Fork on GoogleFight
7:43 a.m.
Forks versus Spoons: A comparative essay
Introduction
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In western cultures, forks and spoons are the most common implements used to move food morcels from a serving dish, plate, or bowl into the mouth so that it may be ingested. Both have various strengths and weaknesses, and therefore choosing which is 'better' is not a trivial task. We will proceed by directly comparing the two utensils in all applicable categories.
Traditional eating
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A fork is best suited for piercing food with its tines, which hold the morcel in place as the fork is lifted to the mouth. Forks are also used to hold food in place while cutting a large food morcel with a knife. Also, solid food maybe be scooped with the tines horizontally.
A spoon is best suited for scooping liquid or solid food from a serving vessel, and transporting to the mouth while holding the spoon horizontally.
Both forks and spoons have unique uses, none of which the other can perform. And both forks and spoons can be used to scoop solid foodstuff.
DRAW
Non-traditional uses
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*A fork with its head bent and a 90 degree angle to its arm, then affixed to a long pole, has been known to make a good tool for pulling strings such as to operate an overhead fan.
*Two spoons held back to back can be used as a percussion instrument.
*Spoons can fling stuff.
EDGE: Spoon
Weaponry
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With its sharp tines, a fork can be a reliable defensive weapon. The tines can pierce flesh, causing discomfort to the victim.
A spoon makes a poor weapon. A gauge to the eye may be the best attack, however, a fork can perform the same manouver.
EDGE: Fork
Varieties
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Forks can come in a variety of shapes and sizes, suited to specific types of food. Also, the term 'fork' is used to describe various other tools and implements such as tuning fork or pitchfork.
Spoons also come in a variety of shapes and sizes, but have limited use beyond food serving.
EDGE: Fork
UrbanDictionary.com popularity
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The definitive source for pop-cultures penetration, urbandictionary.com, has 68 definitions of Spoon, 23 definitions of Fork.
EDGE: Spoon
Google.com popularity
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-55,300,000 results for fork.
-32,100,000 results for spoon.
EDGE: Fork
Sexual uses of verb form
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Spooning is a term for when a one lies facing the backside of their partner, as 'spoon in a drawer'.
Forking can be strectched to mean the verb form of the word 'fuck', as in sexual intercourse.
EDGE: Spoon, because no one says 'forking'.
Overall sexiness
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A spoon can be used to eat foods such sexy food as ice cream and pudding. However, unless the upper lip is pressed firmly into the bowl of the spoon while being removed from the mouth, unsightly streaks of food remnants may become apparent.
Forks can be used to eat such sexy foods as steak and cake. Also, when food is pierced, the following sexy manoeuvre can be performed: The fork turned upside down, head tilted sideways and up, and the food morsel moved slightly downwards from above into the mouth, using the teeth to hold the food morsel in place while the fork is then moved away, dropping the food morsel into the mouth. This manoeuvre exposes much of the neck, as well as being playful and therefore naturally producing a friendly smile.
EDGE: Fork
Results
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The final score is Fork 4, Spoon 3.
A close race, but the overall sexiness of the fork was too much for the spoon to handle.
7:37 p.m.
Kevin for the win. You should really blog about the stuff you comment on. That was the MOST AMAZING battle ever. I will now use the word fork as a verb.
Just fork her, Johnny
9:07 p.m.
I already used the word fork as a verb in place of "fuck" in Jacqui's previous post. I believe I said something stupid, such as "would you rather spoon or fork?", implying spooning or fucking.
Also, how is steak a sexy food? It's dead cow.
10:46 a.m.
Spooning is fucking...it's a sexual position
11:18 a.m.
But you can spoon without fucking.
2:42 p.m.
Quite frankly, I think that the spoon is better. Even if you are eating something with a fork, a spoon often has to be there to assist. Like with spaghetti. Or if you are eating something that resists the stabbing from the fork.
I also think the word spoon sounds so much cooler then fork.
7:50 p.m.
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